My goal has been to step outside of my comfort zone and do some different things in my life. I am trying to prepare myself for when I am no longer raising children and my youngest child is in the 10th grade now, so it won't be long.
I decided to sign up for an online dating service, BlackPeopleMeet on October 1st, my membership goes in the end of November is I last that long.
Tip: If you sign up and decide to cancel before you month is up, they will send you a message to offer the service at $10 a month instead of $20. If you click yes, they bill you for the next month right then. That's how I ended up with the extra month.
Here is what I have found out so far.
I feel like I am way out of my league and comfort zone. I am not used to meet strangers, getting to know them and determining if I will date them. I have in the past always dated people I have known and just kind of ended up in a relationship, there was dating really. My last relationship was with someone who I became friends with and them we started doing things with our kids, then just he and I and bam I'm in a relationship. Didn't even know it really until he introduced me as his girlfriend. Yes, we were sexually active but doesn't mean you are dating and I didn't really think we were. Anyway. (His crazy cheating ass is starting not to look so bad)
I am in my mid-forties now and the men who contact me are around my age. I was under the mistaken impression that when men got that age when they talk to you on the phone their mind is busy wondering what you are wearing or what you sleep in. WRONG.
I am also finding that they are a tad bit aggressive, too much for my liking. Talk to them one time, they wanna go out and want a set date right then. I like to get a feel for a person before I agree to meet you. Nope not them, they saw my pick, my big breasts and they want to meet. I have also noticed that they will ask you very personal questions, not general ones, like where did you go to school, what do you do for a living, what are your interest, have you ever killed anybody? No, they ask shit like, do you like your toes sucked, do you enjoy sex, do you like for a man to go down on you, what's your favorite position. They have no problem telling you how much they turn you on and how they wish they could come and pick you up and take you straight to the hotel, but get offended when you tell them you didn't hear they say how much money they were going to give you. I told one guy, hell don't treat me like a whore, I am not free. Treat me like a prostitute and pay me and I am not cheap. He got pissed off, but I am not supposed to be offended that you asked me for sex and we haven't even met. Dayum.
I don't have a shortage of men willing to have sex with me. I large breast attract a lot of attention, this is something that I am used to. But dammit how would they feel if someone treated their mother's like that, well I am a mother also, just not their mother.
Then there are those that when the conversation is over I feel like I am in a relationship already and ready to break up. They pepper me with 90 questions, disagree with me, tell me what to think and in the end I am like well damn. I am over him already then get mad when you don't want to keep talking to them and want to know you don't want to meet and hang out.
You have some that send you a million text saying things like "hi" and shit like that. Come on now we are not 15, my son's have more game then that.
Oh and let's not forget the ones who call you and have nothing to say. I like talking but not to myself. It feels like I am pulling teeth trying to hold a conversation with them.
I am also completely baffled by the people who contact you that live out of state. Then they tell me that they will travel. Well that tells me that you are not looking for a relationship, you are willing to travel here to have sex with me and you are probably married or in a so-called committed relationship, at least she thinks she is. What I am saying is WTF, nigga bring lots of money with you, otherwise keep your ass at home, shit. (Please excuse the use of the word nigga, if you can't, oh well, I can only be me)
Don't get me wrong, I don't spend my time fucking around with men for sex. I also am not free and if by some chance I am going to have sex with someone I don't know, believe he made me a monetary offer I could not pass up.
The site tells you how many times a person has viewed your profile. Sometimes I see that someone has viewed my profile 8 or 9 times but doesn't contact me. I wonder to myself are they trying to work up the nerves to contact me or masturbating to my photo. I really don't understand it.
Needless to say at this point, I haven't actually gone out on a date with anyone, even though I feel as if I have had several one day, long-term relationships.
I will keep you all updated.
For all those out there looking for a mate,
Happy hunting,
Jenn
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